Free Sausage! Free Innuendo-free Sausage!

What was your biggest accomplishment in life? Did M. Night Shyamalan respond favorably to your screenplay about a hot dog tormented by the ghosts of the pigs from whose ground anuses it was made? Did you sail the Seven Seas on a tankship full of your own urine? Did you lose 50 pounds by thinking of pig anuses and tankfuls of urine everytime hunger overcame you? Fair enough. But unless you got a free (in capitals: FREE) sausage in Zurich better stay at home and work on that cargo. You read correctly: we obtained the sausages depicted above completely free of charge. I'll tell you how. But it's going to cost you.

Hate the Poacher Not the Egg

Guests are like herpes. You don't remember how you ended up with them, but once you do you are stuck with them for much longer than you thought. On the plus side, guests will occasionally cook for you. Herpes will not. Presented for your viewing pleasure: the first poached eggs of my life as prepared by Cody E. Livingstone, Esq. Our inspiration: a video by Estonian gourmet chef Tanel Koppel. For detailed instructions on the egg-poaching procedure, however, we relied on another video by an overweight yet talented US housewife. Afer all none of us understands Estonian all that well. An armada of side dishes - herring, bread, cheese, and tomatoes - completed the feast. Why? Because herring, bread, cheese, and tomatoes are cheap. And so am I!